


remembering sunday

by itsfromjapaAAAAAAAN (Random13245)



Series: there's no you and me, this impossible year [1]
Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Angst, Angst without a happy ending, M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Sad, Song Lyrics, Songfic, Sort of??????, Unrequited Love, its complicated, its just sad, whoops
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-10
Updated: 2017-09-10
Packaged: 2018-12-25 22:39:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12045768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Random13245/pseuds/itsfromjapaAAAAAAAN
Summary: Forgive me, I'm trying to findMy calling, I'm calling at nightI don't mean to be a bother,But have you seen this girl?She's been running through my dreamsAnd it's driving me crazy, it seemsI'm going to ask her to marry me





	remembering sunday

**Author's Note:**

> based on Remembering Sunday by All Time Low
> 
> im not actually sorry

_*He woke up from dreaming and put on his shoes,_

Jeremy rolls over, sighing to himself. He has work soon. He gets dressed, throwing on some shoes, and heading out the door.

* _Started making his way past two in the morning,_  
_He hasn't been sober for days._

He wipes the sleep from his eyes, wipes the hangover from last night away. Maybe if he ignores it it will go away.

He can't wipe away the ache in his chest.

* _Leaning now, into the breeze,_  
_Remembering Sunday, he falls to his knees,_  
_They had breakfast together,_  
_But two eggs don't last like the feeling of what he needs._

He’s sitting across from Michael at some breakfast place, the quaint kind with floral patterned walls and the smell of pancakes all over. Michael has hardly touched his food, pushing it around on his plate with his fork.

“What is it you wanted to talk about?” Michael sounds almost bored, and he keeps looking at the door. Jeremy can't blame him. They haven't talked since-

 _*Now this place seems familiar to him,_  
_She pulled on his hand with a devilish grin,_  
_She led him upstairs, she led him upstairs,_  
_Left him dying to get in._

They're in the hallway leading to Jeremy’s apartment, Michael is pulling on Jeremy’s arm, leading him up to the door, their lips connecting occasionally as they go. Something about this is exhilarating, Jeremy thinks, making out with your best friend in a hallway. Something about this is terrifying, he thinks, he could fuck everything up if they go too far.

He shoves Michael away suddenly, just as they were about to reach his door, and says;

“This isn't a good idea.”

Michael nods respectfully, though his eyes give away how much he wanted this; wanted _Jeremy_.

Jeremy isn't sure he wants Michael.

Michael leaves the quaint breakfast place just as silently as he left the apartment.

* _Forgive me, I'm trying to find,_  
_My calling, I'm calling at night,_

He leaves what feels like a thousand messages on Michael’s phone, they all go unanswered. Jeremy still doesn't blame him.

He calls late at night, usually, when he's drunk and missing Michael the most. Maybe that's why Michael never replies; Jeremy only seems to miss him when he's drunk, but that isn't true. He misses him constantly, it's just so much worse when he's drunk, and with his inhibitions gone…

He's not sure why he's still calling. Once, twice, thrice. No replies. No one ever answers. He could have the wrong number for all he knows.

All he knows is he knows now that he wants Michael, but can't help but wonder if that realization came too late.

 _*I don't mean to be a bother,_  
_But have you seen this girl?_  
_She's been running through my dreams,_

He asks their friends about Michael, since Michael won't talk to him. He's sure they're growing more and more bothered with his constant questions.

“So, uh, how's Michael doing?”

“Jeremy, why don't you just talk to him yourself? What happened?”

Michael must have not told them. Jeremy silent thanks him for that.

* _And it's driving me crazy, it seems,_  
_I'm going to ask her to marry me_

“Jeremy, you can't be serious,” Christine says, setting down her mug of hot chocolate- she never did like coffee.

“As a heart attack.”

“You haven't talked to him since…?”

“It's been about three weeks,” Jeremy admits.

“You're insane.”

Jeremy just nods. He is.

 _*Even though she doesn't believe in love,_  
_He's determined to call her bluff,_  
_Who could deny these butterflies?_  
_They're filling his gut._

He's sitting in Michael’s basement. They're still in high school. Smoke curls around them as Michael passes the blunt to him. He was never quite as big on weed as Michael was, but it had been a rough day, so he takes it and takes a long drag.

A few minutes later, in all his high-wisdom, he asks, “Is love even real?” He doesn't expect an answer, he expects Michael to laugh.

“No,” Michael says without hesitation, “it's a load of shit.” He takes the blunt again and takes a hit. Jeremy frowns, wondering what made Michael think that way.

He still hasn't forgotten those words, but there's no denying what they felt- or, at least, what Jeremy felt.

 _*Waking the neighbors, unfamiliar faces,_  
_He pleads though he tries,_  
_But he's only denied,_  
_Now he's dying to get inside._

He goes to the Michael’s apartment, but when the knock on the door goes unanswered, he tries the neighbors.

 _*Forgive me, I'm trying to find,_  
_My calling, I'm calling at night,_  
_I don't mean to be a bother,_  
_But have you seen this girl?_  
_She's been running through my dreams,_  
_And it's driving me crazy, it seems,_  
_I'm going to ask her to marry me_

He’s clutching the cheap ring box he had, holding it tightly in his hands. This is probably the most reckless thing he'd ever done.

 _*The neighbors said she moved away_  
_Funny how it rained all day_

“Michael Mell? I think he moved a week ago,” the neighbor says, and then points at the door to Michael's apartment, “lived there, right?” Jeremy nods. “Yeah, he moved not that long ago."

Jeremy thanks them for their time, ignoring the sinking feeling in his gut. He turns around as the door closes, looking at the door that used to Michael's

 _*I didn't think much of it then_  
_But it's starting to all make sense_  
_Oh, I can see now that all of these clouds_  
_Are following me in my desperate endeavor_  
_To find my whoever, wherever she may be_

He doesn't know where he went. Michael won't answer his calls still. He asks the others if they knew where Michael went. They didn't even know he had moved.

Jeremy feels a pang when he finally understands; Michael Mell wanted to disappear. He didn't tell anyone where he was going or even that he was going, he just went.

* _I'm not coming back (forgive me),_  
_I've done something so terrible,_  
_I'm terrified to speak (I'm not calling, I'm not calling),_  
_But you'd expect that from me,_  
_I'm mixed up, I'll be blunt, now the rain is just (You're driving me crazy, I'm),_  
_Washing you out of my hair and out of my mind,_  
_Keeping an eye on the world,_  
_From so many thousands of feet off the ground, I'm over you now,_  
_I'm at home in the clouds, and towering over your head._

Michael has always been the type to flee from problems.

At the breakfast place, with Jeremy sitting across from him, he grows frustrated with the silence.

“What is it you wanted to talk about?” He asks stiffly.

“I miss you.”

“You don't get to do that,” he says quietly, standing up and dropping a few dollars down to cover his meal before walking out. He leaves silently.

He was always the type to walk away like that.

He didn't want to be angry at Jeremy in that moment, but he is, and that's why he leaves. He is furious, his insides screaming. Jeremy doesn't get to push and pull him around like this, yank him along because he knows Michael will put up with it.

He's not putting up with it anymore.

He changes his number, he doesn't give it to any of their friends. He moves, he doesn't tell anyone where he's going.

He doesn't want anyone to know, he wants a fresh start. Away from the boy who dragged him around like a piece of trash on a leash. Away from the people who only realized he was a human when he saved their lives.

He doesn't get any calls to his new number, but he can't help but wonder if anyone tries to call his old number.

 _*Well I guess I'll go home now,_  
_I guess I'll go home now,_  
_I guess I'll go home now,_  
_I guess I'll go home._

Jeremy walks back to his apartment. He tries one last time to call Michael, but gets an automated message informing him the number is no longer in service.


End file.
